Week 3 of 52
I never thought I would be proud of NOT finishing something and sure didn’t think it would be noteworthy to write about as my blessing for the week. You see when I commit to something, most of the time, I see it through. I was born with a heart of determination. If I say I’m going to do it, by golly I’m going to do it. This attitude has also been to my detriment at times. As they say, sometimes your greatest strengths can also be your greatest weaknesses.
What exactly did I not finish before I even started? A F45 workout challenge on a bright and cheery Saturday morning. Not only was this going to be my workout for the day, but it was also going to be “something new and different for Week 3 of 52”. When I pledged to doing something once a week for the next 52 weeks that I hadn’t done before, I meant it. I wanted to feel inspired by these experiences, to get out of my comfort zone , to zap me back into feeling alive again and to learn new things about myself along the way. This workout challenge I signed up for was going to provide all that and more.
A little bit about F45 in case you have no clue what it is. It’s a 45 minute high intensity workout class. I had been familiar with high intensity workout classes as I did Orange Theory for years up until my body started rejecting the intensity part. My body was begging for slower movement and, over the last year, I gave it just that. I started taking more walks, less running, more yoga and some strength training. Overall it was a great mix and I started to feel as if I could incorporate high intensity back in once or twice a week. My partner started doing F45 a few months ago and, to his encouragement, I signed up for a week long free trial. I had to admit the high intensity felt amazing and I realized my body was ready to shake things up again. Knowing that I was ready, my partner graciously bought me a package and I started to incorporate it a couple times a week.
We learned about the fitness challenge they were holding on January 21st and my partner immediately decided he was going to join in. I was on the fence and originally decided that I wasn’t going to participate. It felt intimidating and really just something that I didn’t want to do. However, as the few weeks went by, a couple days before the challenge I changed my mind and decided to join in. I thought “what do I have to lose?” and if the thought scares me, well then that definitely means I need to sign up. Saturday morning rolls around and off we go to the challenge. I was all dressed in workout gear and hyped up on black coffee.
When we walked in the fitness studio there were more attendees than what I expected. The energy was contagious and people were ready to get their workout on. When it began, and the instructors started explaining the workouts/expectations, I started to get an uneasy feeling. I kept trying to push it down, but it got louder and louder. You see, what I hadn’t mentioned up until this point is I had a hurt ankle and a hurt knee. On top of those two things, I was on a restricted food fast with my church (more on this as this will be my Week 4 Blessing). After seeing what the challenge was, I thought there is no way in heck I should be doing this and I’m going to get hurt if I attempt to finish. I started to go down the rabbit hole of feeling like a failure and a quitter. Also, this being my “blessing for week 3” added an extra layer of guilt. My ego and self were having an internal battle for what felt like an eternity.
Finally, I came to peace when my spirit intervened. I realized that by not completing the challenge, and listening to myself, I was actually doing something I hadn’t done before. Instead of powering through, I allowed myself the freedom to change my mind without shaming myself and that truly was the blessing. It all worked out lovely in the end. I showed myself self love and I was able to video/take pictures of my partner completing the challenge while cheering him on.
“Self love sometimes means allowing yourself to change your mind”.